


What he doesnt know wont hurt him

by Song_Book



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Comfort, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Being Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Being Gross, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders is a Sweetheart, Domestic Fluff, Family Fluff, Gen, I am not sorry about the spelling errors, Im on mobile with no computer acess, It is just what it is, Not really angsty, Remus and Janus are good friends, Remus being Remus, Remus has a crush on Virgil, Unsympathetic Patton kinda, Virgil mentioned a few times, butcher - Freeform, i love them all so much, idk - Freeform, it is what it is, not a true human au but neither a true sides sides fic either, or well, pure fluff, remus can cook
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:41:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24672505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Song_Book/pseuds/Song_Book
Summary: Remus is making food late at night and is interupted by Logan who joins him and Janus for some late night meals. Logan learns some of his housemate's excentricities. All framed in Logan's perception of what Patton would and wouldnt enjoy about this meeting.
Relationships: Platonic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders - Relationship
Comments: 4
Kudos: 61





	What he doesnt know wont hurt him

**Author's Note:**

> First fic in this fandom. I needed more Remus Fanfic in my life. More notes at the end.

Patton would not enjoy the scene curently playing out in the kitchen right now.  
Patton wouldnt like the blood splattering on the walls, or the fishy scent permeating throughout the kitchen, or where the cookie jar that had been on the counter was moved too, if it had been moved at all.  
Patton expecially would not like to know where in the world the fish on the counter even came from. Large as ever, bleeding down the sides of the kitchen island it was laid upon. With it's head dangling by a very stubborn piece of bone that the one cooking had decided they would deal with at a later point in time. 

The cook in question was Remus, his untrimmed hair pulled back into pigtails of curls, though his grey strand stuck out of them and ran across his bloodstained forhead. It would probably be easier to decsribe the few items on him that werent wet with some ick or gross goop. His undershirt was remarkably not soaked into yet, the heavy duty apron and the rolled-up, long sleeved green and black top under it absorbing all the excess moister even as the spruts launched into his face and rolled down his neck. Pouring himself now into slicing filets from the fish's side while also dancing to his newest favorite song on his favorite playlist

The first one to find the scene was Logan, it was 9.30pm, and he had barely crossed the kitchen threshhod before the smell over took him.

" May I Ask, What in the world is that?"

" A fish!"

" And where did you catch this fish? "

" A stream!" 

" What are you doing to the poor fish?"

" Making Dinner!" He replied, looking up at the logical man grinning mischievously as always, " Do you want some? I don't know when you ate dinner but i could definately spare a portion for another person. Janni always loves it when I cook 'real ' food so he'll join us when i finish"

Logan looked around at the mess in the room around him. Then directly at the mess of a man infront of him, thinking of when he had last eaten anything substantial that day. Breakfast, he had eaten breakfast, coffee and a bowl of heart healthy cereal. He had skipped lunch, and seemingly dinner, ignoring the knocks at his door while trying to finish up a project, he didnt even realize that time had passed that fast. 

" I could do with some nutrients this hour." He smiled lightly, " How you are going to get this kitchen clean before Patton gets up in the morning and has a heart attack I do not know though."

" Ah Lolo, ive cleaned up worse in less time, what they dont know cant hurt them.. or can it?" and with a final slice as he paused; he had pulled all the edible flesh from the fish on the counter. Stacking it haphazardly onto a plate in his hand. Logan moved to be of some use, motioning to be given the plate full of fish so the cook could properly move around to finish and dispose of the fish now lacking its meat.

" I just love seeing the fishes like this, makes me wonder if a fish could ever survive and swim around with half it's side missing. "

Patton wouldnt like the question nor the fact Logan gave a response,  
" The is highly improbable, the shock of such an inscision would kill the fish even if massive lost of internal fluids did not. " 

" what if it was only missing like a bite mark? " he was using some special wipes from under the sink and something from another bottle to wipe away the blood from the counter and the walls, climbing ontop of the counter to get to that on the ceiling with better ease. Disposing of the fish's bones and head and fins into the trash. 

Logan had put down the fish slices by now, still unable to identify what species it was even with his careful observation. 

" Look who it is" Janus stated bluntly in the kitchen doorway. 

" Hello" Logan mumbled finding himself a seat at the table a distance away. He was not uncomfortable with the man, but it was late at night. He was rather used to him only showing up dressed in yellow toned suits. The man now was wearing his signiture hat and gloves yes, but he was not expecting the disney fan art shirt with a glowing yellow Scar on it, or the casual sweat pants with little tiny yellow snakes on them.  
" Evening"

"Jannnni!" Remus jumped down from the counter with a thump, reaching out for a big hug which was shortly defused by a gloved hand holding him back by the head like a small child.  
" You reak of blood and guts and expect me to let you spread that?"  
Remus pouted at the remark sniffing himself. " I dont smell that much different to normal!"  
" Do i let you hug me normally?"  
" No.."

From the stove top in which Remus had rebounded over to he removed a pot of fully cooked rice setting it on the table.

" So what is it exsactly we are having for dinner? I never got a straight answer on that front."

" Honey im never gonna give you a straight nothing!" Remus giggled, as he always did. Perhaps it was just the lateness of it all as the time flicked itself to 10.45 and logan and janus settled at their normal seats at the table, but janus also seemed to chuckle at that stab at homour, quickly muffling it under a hearty swig from the wine glass in his hand. 

" But to answer your question-" Janus started.  
" Raw fish!"  
" We are having Sushi, as custom whenever he catches something and doesnt immedietely lose it trying to take photos with it off the hook." He finished megerely shaking his head at Remus's interrupption. 

" Sushi does sound good. " Logan remarked, carefully observing the two's actions while in the same place. They were rarely seen together. Only when the whole groop was watching a movie at Patton's request, or sometimes in the early morning when Janus was throwing soap at Remus telling him to take a shower already and to stop biting into the soap.

As he swung by to drop off the platter of fish slices Janus caught the chef's collar, pulling him down so he could whisper into the man's ear. 

" I'm sure itll be fine Janni, he isnt the popo"  
He replied, giggling again as the right half of the scared man's face turned just a shade of pink. 

Patton wouldnt like the fish, which had been sliced into more bite sized pieces. The last time he had had sushi was when Virgil brought some home a year or so ago. Patton cooked most meals insistently and hated the way the fish looked so dead. He expecially did not like eating anything but vegetables raw. 

Janus began putting pieces of the fish onto his plate, however he only took fish, looking around quickly before starting to eat a slice per bite.  
" Janni likes rice as much as he likes girls," Remus replied to the question he infered off Logan's puzzled look.  
" Which to say is not at all!" Making himself little sushi fish. Though leaving a fair amount of the fish still on the central platter. 

" That is.. interesting. " Logan replied bluntly, making himself up a few pieces of normal sushi with the provided mold. He wasnt in a place to judge the man, they all had their own eccentricities. 

Patton wouldnt like it when Remus cracked a few jokes every now and then, or when he was down to the final fishy bite on his plate he began singing ursula's main song from the little mermaid to it. Biting off the tail of the fish before also devouring the head with an "Oops i guess im a liar!" 

That remark got him a whack or three from Janus's hat.  
" Whaaatttt" he grinned tussling his messy and very much not sanitary hair. The blood on his outfit had mostly dried by this point, as he got up to finish cleaning up the kitchen and the dishes. 

Janus got up soon after, leaving Logan at the table alone, though he soon returned with another glass of wine, lounging comfortably at the window seat to watch both of them at their collective tasks. Remus was carefully making up another plate of sushi, and Logan was just eating. 

" So what kept you up late enough to have dinner with us? " the not completely wine drunk man pondered out loud. Staring deep into Logan's eyes looking for lies. 

" Finishing up some schedule work and studying took longer than I expected, I must have missed Patton knocking on my door in the rush of it." 

" Being a boring Nerd! Thats what. " Remus swept by taking away Loagn's empty plate before the side could get up out of the table to do it himself. Dancing off into the kitchen and back again to sit himself ontop of the dinning room table. 

" I'd love it if you would come around more. Virge never does anymore..." he replied, suddenly looking very sad. 

" Than whose plate is that for in the fridge? " Logan remarked, knowing of only 1 other person who could come down stairs before Patton and Roman did in the morning to dispose of all the evidence completely of what had happened here tonight. 

" He didnt have dinner with the other's.. and i know he likes fish.. so just incase he comes down ya know. I left a note saying for Virgi so hell hopefully know its for him." Remus started out strong and slowly faded down in on himself, rubbing a hand on the back of his neck grinning less and less. Logan didnt mean to sound accusatory, unsure of what to do or say as the man seemed to shrink in on himself at the question.

" Remus,"  
" yes?" He said softly.  
" Go take your shower and i'll cut your hair tonight." Janus replied lifting himself off the window frame.  
" Promise?!"  
" promise... i cannot stand the pigtails anymore. " 

Remus, suddenly given the mood boost nessecary to move again, bounded down the stairs to his room. Janus looking after him fondly and then back at Logan.  
" I also wouldnt mind you coming by for dinner more often. It is nice for him to not be completely alone before i get home. "

" Glad I could help. Are you going to be up here for longer?" Logan asked standing up and pushing in all the chairs at the table. 

" No no i have to go make sure someone is actually showering. " 

" Good Night then " 

"Good Night Logan" 

11.54pm, Logan could hear the shower downstairs running finnally as Janus walked off, careful not to spill his wine glass. He pushed his glasses up, content at having learned some more about his roommates. Making a mental note to himself to record the characteristics he noticed in his journal in the morning. Carefully acsending upstairs, passing Virgil's room to get to his own he wondered if he was going to go eat at all, or if he should check in on him. Behind him the door opened slightly and soft padded footsteps and light music disipeared down the stairs. Logan sighed in releif at his own door. 

Patton wouldnt like the scene at all, but sometimes, what he doesnt know cant hurt him.

**Author's Note:**

> Anyways. Patton is like a very enjoyable and meaning no harm character, but he is so very black and white when it comes to morality, the idea that everyone figuring the niceness of the "dark sides" after Janus's name reveal seems very cool.  
> Though i still could not decide whether or not the sides were in a human au and just living together or sides were judt being sides.


End file.
